!!!! I. MARRIED. ME. !!!

Yes, yep, that's right folks... I am now on my second marriage and I couldn't be happier! See, I married a beautiful Woman. She's strong, she's smart, she's self sufficient, a great mother and she loves me so much! I met her on December 2nd of 1981 and we've been together ever since.

That may sound a little self absorbed and over confident but I should have married her before I even thought about introducing a second party into our lives. My Elder sent me a discussion on how you know if you're ready to be in a relationship and asked what's my opinion on the video. My response was "there were a lot of valid points made and I think everyone should try to work on these things but there are some whom have done none of these things and still mange to find happiness in a long term relationship. I truly feel it's about your awareness, when you know better, you do better and there are some who don't know how to do better but they still deserve happiness and healing. I think the divine knows when you're ready and will show you when but until then, I'll wait." Long answer right, but it's true. No matter how many counseling sessions, healing journeys or classes on self love you take, no one knows what's best for you but you. I know myself NOW, and I know that I love hard, I will do my best to make my partner feel like the KING OF THE WORLD, even if that means putting myself and my dreams on the back burner to support him and that's been my problem. Many years I waited to pursue things I've dreamed of, music, the arts, my spiritual path but NO MORE!! I will not compromise myself for a relationship again.

The sad truth of my experience is that I've seen many Women lift their Man up and stick by him while he attains his dreams but I see few Men who have or are willing to do the same for their Woman. Women who are driven and focused are often seen as not needing or wanting a Man or as I've been told about myself, that I wouldn't be able to keep a Man because I can't submit. The question is what am I supposed to submit to or what is meant by submission? We've got that thought process all screwed up, of course I don't mind being taught or guided by a Man, especially my Man but.... are you solid enough to lead me? What's your track record? Who have you led and where have you led them? Was it a successful venture or relationship? Those are my questions to that outdated way of thinking and point of view. As partners, a win for one is a win for all so does it really matter who goes first or whose idea works best, let's just get to the finish line successfully? That's teamwork, I think.

So I decided that I will give all the energy I tried to give to the Men in my life back to myself, I WOULD MARRY ME AND LEAD MYSELF SUCCESSFULLY TO MY GOALS! My friend asked me recently how focusing on myself has been working out for me and I told her, it's been working out just fine! So when I marry a partner in the future, I know that I am not behind him, I am not the tail and he's the head, I do not subscribe to the patriarchy.... WE ARE A TEAM!! When I win, he wins, he will lift me the same way I lift him and there is no competition within our unit but until then.... THIS IS THE BEST AND MOST SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE I'VE EVER BEEN IN AND I SEE NO END IN SIGHT!

Love ya'

YASHI