FORGIVE WHO?
I knew I was in the mood to write today but what I started out with is totally different than what you're reading. Life does that, changes your plans. I've learned to go with the flow of life and in return I learn lessons but that's not what this Blog is about. The word of the day is "forgiveness". A while ago I watched a Vlog about not having to forgive to truly heal and move on. I respect that opinion however I know it's not correct and I wouldn't be who I am if I didn't give my "truth" on this topic so, heeerree we go!
Through out my life I've dealt with trials, loss and suffering. Some were of my own doing others were circumstantial but every last one of them SUCKED! When I would here people say "you gotta let it go" I wanted to scream...but you don't know how it feels! You know what, they didn't. No one does. We can all experience the exact same thing but no one can see through your eyes and walk in your shoes. One of the worst things to say to an individual dealing with any kind of trial or greif is "I know how you feel" or "what you need to do is". We don't have the right to tell someone how or when to forgive. Everything has it's own time and some people just aren't ready. The best thing to do is to be there for that person when they need to talk or attempt to understand and let them be.
We have been convinced that forgiving someone means you should become best buds or give them the keys to your car when you know they've already broken into your house. I think this is one of the reasons why the process of true forgiveness eludes so many people. We confuse forgive with forget and they are two entirely different things. To forgive is doing something on purpose with purpose and to forget is a mistake. So that would mean that the choice not forgive would have purpose as well. If the reason is because you just don't want to or you've made the decision not to, then you are still attached to the person or thing that caused you pain.
One of my favorite songs is "Everything Must Change", there are many versions but Oleta Adams did it best for me. The cadence in her voice, the passion, it comes across like she has accepted this concept as fact. In accepting the truth that everything will change she is able to experience healing. I feel the same way about forgiveness. In some African tribes and cultures, connecting the past with the present is imperative to healing the past. If this connection is not made you are doomed to live a life looking back at the mistakes of the past. How can you heal the past without forgivineness. You must embrace it to detach yourself from the pain of it. What you gain is the ability to dissect, learn from and use those exact things as stepping stones to a healthy body, healthy relationships and happiness.
This speaks to so many events happening around us today. The lack of ability to admit mistakes of the past define our current condition. In order to move on from it three things must take place. Admittance, forgiveness and connection of the past and present to heal the acts commited in the past. In order to heal our world this MUST happen just as it MUST happen for an individual to completely heal their body. "Forgive Who?", YES, I forgive you but you must forgive to.
Peace
